The plans of the godly are just;
the advice of the wicked is treacherous.
~ Proverbs 12:5(NLT)
I have been a recipient of both solicited and unsolicited advice all my life. I have even now branded myself a “Flâneur” and I make it a point of talking to all and sundry; educated and uneducated, professionals and non-professionals, drivers, security guards, professors and janitors, etc. I like listening to their life stories and hopefully glean some insights on how to live. I learn a lot this way.
On the other hand, I also get free advice from well-meaning people. For the most part, if I take heed of such, it worsens my situation. My take, be suspicious of anyone giving you free advice. It can ruin your projects, your relationships, and your life.
Most of us give self-serving advice. The advice may be sound but mostly not targeted at the recipient. We are selfish and thus look for ways in which we can benefit from the impact of the advice we share. So you have to ask yourself, is this advice really aimed at me? What is in it for this fellow advising me? Extra care is needed especially if this fellow is a friend, colleague or relative.
What may have worked for me may not work for you. Is my advice going to be useful to you? Will it work for you? To worsen the situation, many people who jump at the chance to give you good advice are not well informed. They therefore cannot be reliable. How do you listen to a relationship advice from a person who has never been in a relationship? Or you seek parental advice from a person who has no kids? How do you trust the source? What are their credentials? Experiential credentials (“I’ve brought up four kids’) are the best as compared to academic (“I have a degree in child psychology).
Early in my career I sought advice from an academic who painted a very bleak future for our profession. This particular person had never held any professional job outside the university environment. I am glad I ignored the advice. Life has just turned out fine.
Anyway all is not hopeless. With time, I have established that the most reliable and genuine sources of advice come from those who have experiential credentials, and especially those who go ahead and write books about it.
For example, I have read many relationship advice books and I always found it difficult to apply the same in my life. Most of these authors are people who have done research in this or that aspect and whatever they write is not relatable. Until I came across “Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix. I recommend this to everyone. He failed as an “academic” marriage counselor himself by divorcing his first wife. He thus had an impetus to really establish what had gone wrong and if there was a solution to it. Hence the book. And they have now been married for over 30 years with Helen.
Same for business, how can you take advice from those who have never started business themselves? Or read a business book by someone who has no real life business experience?
